Finding Connection This Election
I just returned from a fantastic fall weekend in Eugene, Oregon, visiting my college kid. Saturday was sunny and seventy degrees, a perfect day for a football game. As we took the traditional walk from campus across the Willamette River footbridge to the stadium, I noticed how many different types of people were joined together for a shared experience.
As the game went on, I continued to think about how varied the life experiences and political views were of those present. Yet here we all were, together, jumping to our feet during the third-quarter tradition of singing "Shout," a leftover relic from the filming of "Animal House" on Oregon's campus. How is it that those on opposite sides of the political spectrum, plenty who have strong enough feelings to hate those who support a different candidate, can set that all aside to cheer on the team? And why does it make me so damn happy?
The second question is pretty easy. I'm one of the rare social workers who loves sports. I love the game, but I also love seeing players support each other. I love seeing the hometown crowd unite for a shared experience, win or lose. And don't even get me started on how I tear up when the opposing team players give each other hugs and high-fives.
The first question took the drive home from Eugene to make sense of, and honestly, it has a lot to do with what I feel when part of a shared experience like Saturday's football game: Humans crave connection and belonging. We need to know we matter and are loved and cared for by our fellow humans.
The constant fear-mongering of election ads may leave us clinging to our own side, sure that those who support another candidate are rooting for our demise. Each side points fingers at the other, yelling our own perspective louder and louder to drown out the voice of the perceived other. The closer we move to the election, the more intense the rhetoric and fear become. With just days to go, these messages leave many of us experiencing a state of dysregulation much of the time.
Along comes a beautiful sunny day, a team ranked number one in the nation, and an invitation to wear yellow. All of the ugliness and dehumanization of the past year are just gone. In a stadium with over fifty thousand yellow-clad Ducks, I heard nothing about politics—no signs, no ads, just human beings. My body sighed in relief, and the unease that had hovered over me these last weeks seemed to float away with zero effort.
This amazes me. And it reminds me how simple it actually is when we look each other in the eye and put ourselves on the same team—the human team—our natural hardwiring for connection and belonging brings us together.
All that said, I am no Pollyanna. I know what is at stake in this election.
So, if you have not yet voted, now’s the time- Just Do It!
Yet, I also know when we step aside from the blaming, the yelling, the hurling of insults and hatred, most people are just people—scared, hurting, feeling alone and unheard. What if instead of allowing the fear-mongering to keep us in fight or flight, we focused on our shared humanity?
When we tune out the hate and tune into connection and community, we can move through the uncertainty of election and life in general with greater ease.
